It All Starts With Emotions
Every year when I planned out guidance lessons, I always focused on teaching kids about feelings first. Seemed like as long as we could build that foundation, everything else would come easier after that. You can’t talk about how to show empathy, be a good friend, resolve conflicts peacefully, or even imagine your best possible future as far as careers go without understanding emotions first. Starting with a range of feelings lessons for kids builds the foundation needed to successfully see change in behaviors, classroom climate, and the overall school community.
Builds Self Awareness
One of my favorite ways to hook students in when talking about feelings was to play games like “Who Am I?”
For instance, I might begin a lesson saying something like, “My face is on fire! I feel pulsing beats behind my eyes. Fingernail indentations are forming on the palms of my hands. And tears are racing down my cheeks. What feeling am I?”
Invariably students would shout out different emotions, such as anger, frustration, or rage.
Then we’d talk about how our body gives us clues via physical sensations to inform us about what we are feeling.
This is one of the most important reasons to teach kids about feelings. Noticing physical sensations helps to build self-awareness.
Let’s take nervousness for example. Do you get brain fog, sweaty palms, or a shaky voice? Or embarrassment. Do your checks get hot and you get the urge to hide?
When we put a label on the physical symptoms of the emotion, it helps us to be mindful of what is happening. It gives us a moment to pause. Rather than react.
Instead of being controlled by the physical sensations, we can just notice them. And be curious about what our feelings are trying to say.
From there, we can practice how to relate to feelings in kind, healthy and compassionate ways.
This is one of the most important reasons to teach kids about feelings. Noticing physical sensations helps to build self-awareness. Teaching kids about feelings is not just about labeling emotions but also about helping them recognize how their bodies respond to those emotions. These physical cues can serve as invaluable guides, allowing students to better understand themselves and navigate their emotional landscapes.
When we can identify physical clues of our emotions, it helps us to be mindful of what is happening. It gives us a moment to pause. Rather than react.
Instead of being controlled by the physical sensations, we can just notice them. And be curious about what our feelings are trying to say.
From there, we can practice how to relate to feelings in kind, healthy and compassionate ways.
Feelings Charades
Here is a fun activity I liked to use when starting a unit on emotions. It was a great way to see and talk about the differences and similarities between people and their physical responses to a feeling.
Pair the students up and have them stand back to back. Announce a feeling out loud for the class. For example, Scared, Excited, Shy, Curiosity, or Guilt. Then count down, three, two, one, and have them turn and face, doing charades to act out the feeling to their partner.
As an adult, it was fun to see how kids expressed and acted out feelings. For the students, it provided a engaging baseline to talk about emotions. It also helped to cultivate empathy as they recognized differences between their actions and their partner’s actions.
Using Visual Supports
I also always like to provide tons of visual supports during lessons. And of course had feelings posters handing all over my office, which got lots of eyes during small groups and individual counseling.
For this, I created a whole series of posters along with a handbook that was great for helping me teach about different ways emotions show themselves via facial expressions and body language. Conversations almost always included diving into the meanings of each feeling, discovering triggers, and reflecting on how each individual student experienced various emotions.
Normalizing Feelings Builds Self-Efficacy
Three of the most basic messages I always hoped my students would learn were:
- Everyone has feelings.
- All feelings are allowed.
- How you respond to and relate to those feelings is something within your control.
In other words, everyone has the right to feel their feelings and the ability to learn healthy tools to cope with emotions.
Keeping these principals in mind, and wanting to make some of these concepts less abstract for young students, I created the Feelings Comic Book for Kids.
Given just how much kids love comic books and graphic novels, this format worked out perfectly. The fun visual story part of the comic book would always keep them super engaged.
I broke up the comic book into 8 different chapters. Each chapter was an instant mini-lesson. This allowed me to either focus on just one topic at a time or go over several different ideas in one class period.
The mini-lessons that the Feelings Comic Book for Kids go over include:
- Everyone has feelings (normalizing all feelings)
- Mixed Feelings
- Feelings come and go
- Feelings are like visitors that deliver important messages
- Recognizing feeling sensations, including comfortable/uncomfortable, big energy/small energy
- Identification and labeling
- Feelings aren’t bad or good
- Fight-Flight-Freeze feelings
- Feelings are meant to be felt: when you try to shut out certain feelings, ends up shutting out other feelings you may actually want to to feel
- Listening to your feelings; if feelings could talk what would they say
- Healthy versus unhealthy ways to express and cope with feelings, including using I-Statements and stress/anger management strategie
Building Stronger Connections and Resolving Conflicts
When we place an intentional focus on feeling emotions, talking about emotions and self-regulating emotions, we build stronger peer and adult connections. In addition, cultivating emotional intelligence helps us to better find solutions and resolve conflicts. And this is reason #3 to teach kids about feelings.
So if you are still wondering, “Why should we focus on feelings? Aren’t there more important things to teach?” understanding and discussing emotions can be a game-changer when it comes to helping our children build stronger connections and navigate conflicts successfully. And this means, if you are a teacher, for example, improved classroom behavior. Making it easier to teach all the other super important things, too.
Imagine this scenario: You’re in the classroom, and two students are arguing over a toy. If we equip them with the language of emotions, they can express how they feel. For instance, one child might say, “I feel upset because I was playing with the toy first.” By encouraging them to identify and articulate their emotions, we’re giving them a powerful tool to communicate their needs effectively. As they learn to express themselves, they develop empathy, understanding, and respect for each other’s feelings, fostering deeper connections.
Now, let’s shift gears to conflict resolution. We all know that conflicts are an inevitable part of life, but by teaching children about feelings, we equip them with invaluable skills. When faced with a disagreement, they can articulate their emotions constructively, like saying, “I feel hurt because my friend messed up my art project.” By acknowledging these emotions, we create an environment where children learn to listen actively and empathetically. This sets the stage for peaceful resolutions, as they begin to understand the impact of their words and actions on others.
There are tons of ways to seamlessly support students to build their feeling vocabulary and learn healthy ways to safely express their emotions. Hang feeling posters around the room. Teach your students how to use I-Messages. Play fun games like Feelings Bingo or I-Spy Feelings to teach kids about emotions. Talk about how each character feels when reading picture books. Give students their own feelings check-in to reflect on and communicate their emotions.
Remember, teaching about feelings should be an ongoing process. By incorporating these strategies into the classroom, you’ll create an environment where students can develop emotional intelligence, enhance their social connections, and become skilled at resolving conflicts in a healthy and respectful manner.
