Feeling awkward about making friends? You’re not the only one. In fact, if making new friends feels about as comfortable as wearing itchy socks or giving a class presentation on 10 seconds’ notice—you’re in good company.
Even the most confident-looking kids (and adults) get nervous in social situations. The good news? Shyness isn’t a flaw. It’s just a feeling. And like any feeling, it doesn’t have to run the show.
This isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about learning how to show up—even when your stomach is doing gymnastics. So if you’re ready to trade in those “what-if-they-think-I’m-weird” thoughts for some real tools, read on.
1. Start Small (Like, Really Small) 🧩
You don’t need to walk into the lunchroom like you’re running for class president. Start with one small move.
Say “hi” to the kid sitting next to you in science. Ask someone if they’ve ever tried the cafeteria nachos (even if you’re both pretending to eat them). Compliment someone’s shoes. Tiny interactions build social muscle—just like push-ups, only less sweaty.
2. Find Your Conversation Shortcut 🗝️
Friendship doesn’t require fireworks. Sometimes it just starts with, “Hey, do you like Minecraft?” or “Have you seen that show where the dog drives a bus?”
Shared interests are like secret passwords. When someone says, “Wait, you like that too?”—you’ve just unlocked level one of connection.
Not sure what you have in common? Ask a simple question: “What do you like to do after school?” You never know where it’ll lead.
3. Practice with Safe People (or Pets) 🗣️
Not every conversation needs to be with a kid from your class. Practice with people who feel safe: your cousin, your neighbor, your dog (no judgment).
The more you hear your own voice out loud, the less scary it feels. You’re not trying to be perfect—you’re building comfort. That’s the point.
Bonus tip: Practice asking open-ended questions. Instead of “Do you like pizza?” try “What’s the weirdest pizza topping you’ve ever tried?”
4. Awkward Is Normal—So Keep Going 😬
You will say weird things. You will forget someone’s name five seconds after hearing it. You will get nervous and talk too fast or too quiet or say, “See ya!” when you meant “Hi!”
That’s okay.
Awkwardness is not a disaster. It’s just proof you’re doing something brave. If you mess up? Laugh. Then keep going. People respect real way more than perfect.
Exclusive poster for WholeHearted Hub members! Available September 16th, 2025.
5. Be Yourself, Not a Social Robot 🤖
You don’t need to fake being “cool” to make friends. You just need to be real.
Are you the kid who builds cardboard forts, draws superheroes, or memorizes every state capital for fun? Great. Own it. Your real self is your strongest starting point. Trying to be someone else is exhausting—and it never works for long.
Real friendships don’t start with pretending. They start with showing up as the real you.
6. You’re Allowed to Take the First Step 🛠️
Don’t wait around for someone to talk to you first. If you’re waiting, chances are they are too.
You can be the one who says, “Wanna sit here?” or “Wanna play?” or “What’s your favorite school lunch disaster?”
You don’t have to be loud—you just have to be willing. You don’t have to do it perfectly—you just have to try.
Exclusive poster for WholeHearted Hub members! Available September 16th, 2025.
Putting It All Together
Shyness isn’t something to “get rid of.” It’s just a signal that something matters to you—like connection, honesty, or being seen for who you really are.
The goal isn’t to be popular or say all the right things. The goal is to be yourself, even when it feels a little awkward.
Everyone feels weird sometimes. Everyone worries what other people think. That’s normal.
You don’t have to impress people to be valuable. You already are.
So take a breath. Take the next small step. Say “hi.” Ask a question. Sit next to someone new. You don’t need to be fearless—you just need to be willing.
Being yourself is more than enough. And the more you practice, the easier it gets.
You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to keep showing up.
That’s how confidence grows—every time you speak up, try again, or say “hi” when you’d rather hide.
DISCUSSION BOX
Talk About It:
- What’s something small you could say to start a conversation?
- Who do you feel most comfortable practicing conversations with?
Write About It:
- Write about a time you felt nervous to talk to someone—but did it anyway. What happened?
- Make a list of 3 things that make you a great friend.
🔧 Tip Sheet: Real Situations & Real Solutions
When you see someone sitting alone:
Walk up and say, “Mind if I sit here?” You don’t have to talk right away—just sitting nearby is a good start.
When you feel nervous in a group:
Take a breath. Then say something small like, “That was funny” or “I like your binder.” Simple words open doors.
When you forget someone’s name:
Try this: “I’m so sorry—I totally blanked on your name! Can you tell me again?” People appreciate honesty.
When you want to invite someone to hang out:
Just say it: “Hey, I’m going to the park Saturday. Want to come?” Keep it casual, not complicated.
When you feel shy in a new class:
Turn to the person next to you and say, “Have you had this teacher before?” Ice = broken.
When a friend shares something vulnerable:
Say, “Thanks for telling me. I feel that way sometimes too.” Connection grows in those moments.
When you’re paired with someone new for a project:
Start with teamwork. “Want to divide this up?” It shows initiative and helps things flow.
When someone tells you big news:
Celebrate with them! “No way! That’s awesome. Tell me more.” Encouragement makes you memorable.
When things get awkward in a conversation:
Smile and roll with it. Say something like, “Welp, that was a little weird. But anyway…” and keep it moving.
When you want to include someone quiet:
Ask a friendly question that doesn’t have a right or wrong answer. “What’s your favorite thing to do outside of school?”
Ready to have some fun?
Spin the wheel and answer over 25 questions that help you overcome your friendship fears! This is a super fun interactive game and social emotional lesson to teach kids about shyness. This digital spinner is available exclusively for members of the WholeHearted Hub!
*Spinner will be available to download after September 16th, 2025.
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