Have you ever heard a voice in your head say something like, “I’m terrible at this,” or “Why do I always mess things up?” Maybe it happens after you drop a plate, forget your chore, or say something awkward in front of your friends.
That voice can be loud. It can be harsh. And sometimes it feels like it shows up just to ruin your day.
But just because a thought shows up doesn’t mean you have to believe it. You’re not stuck with every idea that pops into your brain. You get to notice it, challenge it, and choose something better.
Let’s talk about how.
🎙️ Recognize the Critic
First things first: catch the voice. That’s the key.
That “I can’t do this” before a test? That “No one likes me” after a weird lunch table moment? Those thoughts pop in like uninvited guests. And if you’re not paying attention, they sneak in and start rearranging the furniture in your brain.
But when you notice them—when you say, “Wait, that’s the critic talking”—you’ve already taken the first step. You’ve hit pause instead of play. That’s huge.
🔁 Flip the Script
Now here’s where it gets good. Once you hear the critic, flip the thought.
Let’s say your brain says, “I’m not smart enough.” You flip it:
“I’m still learning—and I get smarter every time I try.”
Think of it like changing the channel on your brain. Or switching on a flashlight in a dark room. Suddenly, things aren’t so scary. You can see what’s true, not just what’s loud.
Here’s another one. Your friend always knows the answers in class, and you think, “I’ll never be like her.”
Flip it: “She’s ahead of me now. But I can keep learning. I can ask questions. I can get better, too.”
That shift? That’s power. That’s ownership. That’s how confidence grows—by choosing thoughts that lift you, not limit you.
🎯 Shift Your Focus
Negative thoughts love to grab your attention. But guess what? You don’t have to stare at them. You can shift your focus on purpose.
Next time you feel that spiral—pause. Take a breath. And ask: What’s going right today?
Then name three things you like about yourself.
Yes, three. You’ve got plenty to choose from.
Maybe it’s your creativity. Your sense of humor. Your effort in gym class. The way you held the door for someone. Or how you remembered to study when you didn’t feel like it.
The more you practice seeing what’s good, the easier it is to remember that you’re doing better than you think.
🧭 Use Negativity as a Clue
This might sound weird, but negative thoughts can actually be helpful—if you know how to use them.
If you hear yourself thinking, “I’m so bad at sports,” stop and ask:
“Okay… what do I want instead?”
Maybe you want to feel stronger. Or improve at soccer. Or just feel less awkward when running the mile.
That thought—even though it’s annoying—is showing you something you care about. Use it as a clue. Then take a small step toward that goal.
Practice a little more. Ask for help. Try a different sport. Or notice where you’re already improving.
The thought isn’t the end of the story—it’s the beginning of the plan.
Exclusive poster for WholeHearted Hub members! Available May 6th, 2025.
💪 You’ve Got More Power Than You Think
Here’s the truth: overcoming negative thoughts isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about learning to lead your own mind instead of letting that inner critic drive the bus.
You don’t have to believe every thought.
You don’t have to listen to the voice that tears you down.
You can choose something better.
You can say:
“I’m growing.”
“I’m learning.”
“I’m not there yet, but I’m not giving up.”
And the more you talk to yourself like someone who’s worth believing in, the more you’ll start to believe it too.
Because you are worth it.
And your thoughts? They can either build you—or block you.
You get to decide which ones stay.
DISCUSSION BOX
Talk About It:
- What’s a positive thought that helps you stay strong when things get hard?
- Can you think of a time you turned a rough moment into something better?
- What’s one way you talk to yourself that helps you feel calm or confident?
Write About It:
Write about a time you stayed focused on something good—even when things were tough.
What did you tell yourself, and how did it help?
What to Say to Yourself or Do When…
When You Feel Like You Can’t Do It:
Say to Yourself: “I can handle this, one step at a time.”
When You’re Worried About Failing:
Say to Yourself: “Messing up is how I learn—no big deal.”
When You Think You’re Not Good Enough:
Say to Yourself: “I’m still figuring it out, and that’s cool.”
When You’re Comparing Yourself to Others:
What to Do: Focus on what makes you awesome and different.
When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed:
What to Do: Take a breather and tackle one thing at a time.
When You Don’t Understand Something:
Say to Yourself: “It’s totally fine to ask for help—that’s how I get it.”
When You’re Upset About Something That Happened:
What to Do: Chill for a minute and think about what you can do to make it better.
When You’re Nervous About Speaking Up:
Say to Yourself: “What I have to say is important.”
When You’re Facing a Tough Challenge:
Say to Yourself: “I’ve done hard stuff before—I got this.”
When You’re Feeling Down:
What to Do: Think of three things that make you happy right now.
Ready to have some fun?
Spin the wheel and answer over 25 questions that help you overcome negative thoughts! This is a super fun interactive game and social emotional lesson to teach kids about their inner critic. This digital spinner is available exclusively for members of the WholeHearted Hub!
*Spinner will be available to download after May 6th, 2025.
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