Taking Control of Your Life: What You Can Actually Change

Alright, let’s start with a fact: you can’t control the weather. How many times have you wished for a sunny day and got rain instead? Or planned for snow only to watch the sun melt it away? No matter what, you can’t change it. But here’s the cool part—you don’t need to control everything to be happy. The key is focusing on what you can control, and letting go of the rest.

 🎮 Life Is Like a Video Game

(Actually, it is way, way, way better and bigger and more beautiful and amazing than a video game…but for the sake of this article, let’s just go with it….)

Think of life like a video game. You control your character—how you move, the tools you use, and your strategy. But you can’t control how the game is designed or what other players do. What you can control is how you play—your choices, reactions, and game plan. The more you focus on that, the better you get.

In life, it’s the same. You can’t control everything—like what people do or the weather—but you can control how you respond. That’s how you get stronger and smarter at handling challenges.

🌹 Life Is Also Like a Garden

Here’s another metaphor—your life is like a garden. You can’t control how much it rains, how hot it gets, or even if some bugs show up to mess with your plants. But you can still make your garden thrive. You can control how much water you give your plants, whether you pull out the weeds, and if you give them the nutrients they need. The more you focus on what you can do, the better your garden looks.

And life works the same way. Take care of the things you can control—your habits, your actions, your attitude—and you’ll see yourself growing, no matter what’s happening around you.

  You can Think of Life Like a School Play, Too

Ok, here’s one last metaphor for you.  Ever been in a school play? Picture this: you’ve got your lines memorized, your costume is on point, and you’re ready to rock the stage. But you can’t control how the audience reacts, and you can’t control if one of the other actors forgets his or her lines. What you can control is your own performance. You can focus on delivering your best lines, hitting your marks, and giving it your all. That’s how you crush it, no matter what else is going on.


Own Your Part: Focus On What You Can Control

Life will always throw stuff at you that’s out of your hands—like what other people think or whether it rains on your big day. But here’s the key: when you focus on what you can control, like your actions, your attitude, and your effort, you take responsibility for what really matters. The more you own your part, the less you stress about the things you can’t change. By taking self-responsibility, you start feeling more confident and ready to handle anything life throws your way.

So, get out there and focus on playing your best game, taking care of your own garden, and delivering your best performance.

The rest? Let it go.

Things You Can Control

(

Focus on this stuff!!)

  • Your Actions: You decide what you do and how you do it.
  • Your Responses: You get to choose how you react when things do or don’t go your way.
  • Your Attitude: You control whether you stay positive or let things bring you down.
  • Your Thoughts: You can shape your thoughts to focus on what’s possible and what’s good.
  • Your Effort: You control how hard you work, whether it’s for school, sports, or anything else.
Things You Can’t Control: 

(🎈 Don’t waste your energy on these….)

  • Other People’s Actions: You can’t control what your friends, family, or classmates do.
  • What Others Think: Their thoughts? Not your business.
  • Other People’s Feelings: You can’t decide how others feel, whether they’re happy, upset, or anything in between. Their emotions are theirs to handle, not yours.
  • The Weather: Whether it’s sunny or raining, that’s out of your hands.
  • The Past: What’s done is done. You can only move forward.

  50 Things You Can Control (…a more detailed list)

1. How you respond to challenges

2. Following through with your responsibilities

3. How you say what you need

4. When and how often you smile

5. Owning up to your mistakes

6. How much effort you put forth in anything

7. How you take care of yourself

8. When you ask for help

9. When and if you forgive others

10. The goals you create for yourself

11. What you focus on in this very moment

12. Doing activities that mean something to you

13. The kind of attitude you have

14. Getting enough rest and/or sleep

15. Who you ask for help

16. Respecting (or not) other people’s boundaries

17. When you show empathy

18. How you act in any situation

19. If you focus on the negatives or positives

20. How you talk to and treat yourself

21. How much exercise you do

22. The words you use & how you communicate

23. How you deal with your feelings

24. Whether or not you help someone

25. Choosing to accept and/or let go

26. How truthful and honest you are

27. How you interpret and perceive things

28. If and when you get back up & try again

29. How organized you are

30. How you treat other people

31. How polite (or not) you are

32. How you show others you care about them

33. Whether or not you keep your word

34. What coping tools you use

35. How you hold your body (like your posture)

36. When you practice gratitude

37. How you deal with mistakes and failure

38. Learning more about what makes you curious

39. Going outside & enjoying nature

40. Expressing what you hope for

41. When you ignore behavior that annoys you

42. When you talk about your thoughts & feelings

43. Defining and choosing your values

44. With whom you make & keep friendships

45. When you take slow, mindful breaths

46. Working (or not) on your goals

47. How much responsibility you take for your life

48. Deciding what your boundaries are

49. When you listen to others (or not)

50. Whether or not you stop & smell the roses

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